rest and relaxation... at last!

boracay 2005 (march 21-28)

finally... a vacation long overdue.
one whole week of rest, relaxation, no worries, no stress, and absolutely nothing to do.
i can't really get into detail about everything i did... but it was a great trip. Had a lot of time to think about stuff and figured out a few things for myself.

The first four days i was there, i did absolutely nothing. I tried to tan... i ate... slept... you know, the usual. I tried to get some color on my skin.

beautiful boracay sunsets... and me trying to be a photographer. haha!

Wednesday morning i hooked up with an old friend of mine. MAnila boy turned Boracay local, Reo. He introduced me to the other side of the island and the sport known as kite surfing. They got pros doing all sorts of tricks and what not on the water... they make it look easy. I didn't dare try it.

kite surfing school... on the non-partying side of the island

Most of the time i was there though, i didn't really do much. Which was the whole point of the vacation, right? I mean i'd walk to d'mall and look for "stuff" to buy or food to eat. I woke up everday at around 10am to catch the cocomangas free breakfast (that i would consider to be lunch) and then i'd have the barbeque things for dinner. I did that everday... pretty sad, right? but it was alright. =) haha! i had a good lunch every now and then.

official cocomangas beach bum

( i was sitting in this position about 60% of the time i was in boracay. haha!)

I was pretty much a roamer... none of my close friends had gone to Bora as early as i did... so i didn't really have anyone to hang out with. I was there with Mars and his co-workers... and since they were working most of the time, i didn't wanna get in the way. I was pretty sure i'd run into people if i walked around a bit... i mean, c'mon, the island's not that big. So i did... i'd walk around, and whoever i ran into, i'd hang out with.

kickin' it with the guys

that's DJ Apollo yo!!! =)

completely rocked the island Friday night

Finally, on Friday, my peoples arrived. =) the partying was crazy and we all had a good time. =)

1. pretty awesome group picture 2. soul sistaz... with a hangover. 3. crazy party people

I felt like i didn't stay in Boracay long enough... then again, that's what most people feel like when they get back to the city. It's a Bora aftershock type thing. =) I swear, i wanted to go watch a movie wearing tsinelas, board shorts a bikini and a sando over it. haha!

last day in Boracay... the weather was beautiful

Boracay from the plane... i'm just staring blankly at it.

agh... i miss it. whatever. what happened in BOra, stays in Bora...

officially the most interesting week of my life...

thus far, anyway.
it's been a while since i've had weird encounters... and it took me so long to write about it... just because.

So at the night of my sister's surprise party, towards the end of the night, we're all just chilling outside. My sister facing a certain direction and i'm facing the opposite way, she says, "Hey, Thea... isn't that Frankie?" and i turned around and foreal, i think for a split second, my heart stopped. It was Frankie Callaghan... a guy i once knew back from Baguio, a guy included in some of the most memorable moments i have ever had in my entire life. I couldn't believe it.

The last time i had contact with anyone from there, or that circle of people i used to kick it with, was about 5 years ago. When i went up for Donni's graduation. So basically, the past just creeped up behind me and decided to give me a good kick in the gut. As shocking as it was... it was freakin' awesome.

AND THEN, i run into JOhn Nassr... yet another Brentonian from the life i had left behind way up in the mountains. We talked for a bit, did a little catching up... it was nice. =)

The next day, I headed over to greenbelt 3 for the Crew's usual Movie Night. I decided i wanted a Chai Latte from Coffee Bean and started to walk towards the cafe... just as soon as i hopped onto the escalator, i hear a chorus of people yell out "Thea!". I looked back, didn't recognize them, and thought that it was just the usual people i see every so often when i go out. I thought they could wait... i'd grab my coffee first, and then walk back the same way. ON my way back to the cinemas, that group of people didn't see me walking towards them... the closer i got, the more i realized that i didn't really know these people... so why the hell were they calling me? i walked closer, and just when i was about to pass them... i recognize one of them... and then the other... and the other... and the rest of them altogether. The night before was enough of a shock... but this incident just completely blew me away.

It was Ami Evangelista, Paw Subido, Joel Rivera, Patrick Nevada, and Frankie (again). Brent Baguio class of '98. =) I stayed and talked for a bit until they all had to go and i had to catch my movie... but it was really interesting seeing them all together again. =)

For some reason... i don't know why... i feel like i have unfinished business concerning the life i had up in Baguio. There was something i didn't do, couldn't do, or wasn't able to do... that i feel like i really missed out on something. Moving to Manila, i thought i left the "perfect" life behind. One more year could've been great... take me out the year after... but i felt as if the move we made, was something that was done too early.

I've been through a lot since then. I've changed a lot, i've met people, etc. etc. etc. But seeing these certain individuals again... and remembering how things used to be... made me feel like i was home. I'm not crazy. I (again) ran into some fellow Brentonians (Greg and Art) at Embassy (April 1) and Greg says he feels the same way. Us Brentonians are like a "Tribe" he says. haha! no matter how long it's been or how far apart we've drifted... when we meet again, it truly does feel like home. Just to make things clear, i'm talking about Brent Baguio... yeah...

So the interesting week turned out to be an interesting month. Originally, it started out as the most interesting "night"... turned into "weekend" and then "week"... and so there.

I got back from Boracay about a week ago. Yeah, exactly a week ago. The one and only vacation i've had in the past 2 years and it'll probably be that way for a while. It was quite an interesting vacation. I got to rest, party, meet people, and all that what not. I kinda miss it. But at the same time i was getting homesick coz i missed Dylan so much. So yeah, i'll write about that soon. Just editing some pics... it's taking me a while coz i need to go through about 400 pictures... haha! and everybody wants copies. I fully documented the whole trip. haha! i looked like a tourist. yuck!

k, gotta blaze.

i be sneaky like ninja...

"SURPRISE!!!"
"HaPpY BiRtHdaY AiCa!!!" =)

(March 12, 2005)
The past week was stress. I swear, i thought i was losing hair over it. I'm one of those people that can't keep something exciting to myself (but i keep secrets pretty good)... it's just really annoying when i can't share it with anybody. Do you get what i mean?

So it's my sister's birthday today... today, she turned 18. The Big 1-8. Every other year before this one, all she ever did for her birthday was have dinner with her friends. By all means, there's nothing wrong with that, but it's her 18th birthday, and i wanted to make it special. On my 18th birthday, i had a party every day for about a week (which isn't unusual when you go out a lot), and for me... 17-19 was the peak of my "partying" phase.

So sneaky little me devised a plan to throw my sister a SuRpRisE BirtHdaY PaRty. I had planned to have it on a Saturday (so it's completely unexpected) and since most of her friends are still in high school, it would be more advisable to have it on a weekend when it's most likely they'll be allowed to go out. (Times have changed... highschool kids don't go as nuts as we used to be back in the day). I hooked up with her best friend on a Monday and planned everything out. So far, so good. I sent out an e-mail to all her friends. And since i was crazy PMSing that day, my e-mail sounded so intimidating... but i didn't care... i just wanted it to work.
You wanna see the invite? it looked something like this: (if you don't care, just skip it)

• Ey y'all! This is Thea, Jamaica (or Aica, for most of you)'s sister. I'm planning a SURPRISE Birthday Party for her on March 12, 2005 @ Prince of Jaipur (at the FORT, right next to Embassy) that's this Saturday at around 10pm.
  
  I'm gonna need your help, support, and most of all, your cooperation. Without you guys, this isn't gonna work. Please take some time to read the following and try to fully understand it. Thanks.
  
  I'm planning on having it on a Saturday so it's completely unexpected. I know this is gonna mean a whole lot to her if we make this happen and if it really works. She's turning 18, and i know she's been looking forward to her 18th birthday for a really looooooong time. This is really important to her and i can't even stress it enough.
  
  So here's the deal. I need ALL OF YOU to be there. Bring your friends, your friends' friends, i don't care, but i need all of you there. It's gonna be HipHop, R&B, Soul, and Funk the whole night. It's gonna be a really good party. Norah Jones is having her after party there, and there's gonna be a whole lot of party people in the scene--- honestly, it might be a little bit nuts. I don't need you guys to be there the whole night, but atleast drop by and be there even if it's just for the "SURPRISE"... that's the most important bit of it all.
  
  I'm gonna take her out for dinner in the evening and pretend i gotta run to a meeting at Jaipur. I'm gonna leave her behind with a friend (you know who you are), and then they'll follow to Jaipur afterwards. I'm gonna be there to organize the whole "surprise" bit... so i'm gonna be waiting for all of you. I need you guys there at 10:00pm ON THE DOT. We need to do it as early as possible because we have to get it done before the NOraH JoNes after party starts... because by the time the party starts, it'll be waaaay too nuts to pull off the surprise. Aryt?
  
  Okay... this is where your participation (aside from cooperation) kicks in. I need y'all to do the following:
  BRING A GIFT: I don't need it to be massive, huge, or expensive... just a little something you can give her. It's her 18th birthday... so think of it as a debut kinda thing. Just a few rules: NO BULLSHIT GIFTS like pillows, stuffed animals, or useless things that you know she'll never use. oh, and don't get her jewelry... she can make her own. get her something useful. For those of you willing to spend for it a little bit--- she'd love to receive and IpoD (haha), some CDs (the list, yet to come), Clothing (like a rocker shirt or something), or something "rockerish". If you're not willing to spend so much on it, atleast make it sentimental or something. It's only gonna happen once, so please just think about it and make it special. It's her dream to have a party with presents waiting for her to be opened... (aww... DON'T TELL HER I TOLD YOU THIS)
  BE ON TIME: you know how this goes... if nobody's there to yell at her, "surprise", it's gonna be one crappy-ass "surprise party". So please... be there by 10pm.
  WRITE HER A LITTLE SOMETHING: There's gonna be a notebook or a scrapbook being passed around. Put a picture on it, make a collage, and write her something as if it were "roasting" her. I don't want none of that bullshit "Happy birthday, god bless, take care, have a good year, thanks for being a friend" type of ish, okay? I need you to say a LITTLE something about her, and make it meaningful. Put in an inside joke or something.... put SOMETHING in there, okay? i want it to be like a giant card. IT's a SCRAPBOOK... not a CRAPbook.
  this one isn't 100% sure yet but bring a bottle of alcohol. I'm not sure about this because they MIGHT charge for corkage and i don't know how much that's gonna be. I'll let you know at the last minute... it's not that hard anyway, you can get it on the way there, right? Preferably Malibu, Baileys, Tequila Rose (all the gurly ish... haha!) and if you wanna get drunk... there are lotsa cheap drinks--- at the BAR.
  We're doing this party international style. It's not the celebrant who shows everybody a good time... IT's EVERYONE who shows the celebrant a good time. You get it? I don't understand the Filipino mentality, "Birthday mo?! Libre ka!" i mean, DUDE! It's MY frikin' bday... buy ME a frikin' drink. I know you're all feeling me on this one. (okay, now i'm just blabbing)
  Okay, i think i've said my piece and done all that i can really do. The rest is all up to you now. I'm counting on all of you to make this special for my sister. I know how much friendships mean to her and this would mean the world to her.
  This is only gonna happen once. I just need this to happen perfectly, just once. So please try your best to make this happen.
  Thanks guys. Hopefully, i'll see you all there. =)
  PS: For those of you who need a little bit more persuasion to make it over there... there's gonna be a LOT of Hot Guys and a LOT of good looking ladies. haha! no Bullshit. There's gonna be drinks and good music too!!! JUST GO dammit!!! Thanks! =)
  much LuV, --*ThEa*--

haha! whatever... i thought it was funny.

So my plan for her on Saturday was, we were gonna have a sorta "Aix and Thea's Day of Fun". haha! We started at around 3:30pm and headed to rockwell. I wanted to take her shopping. Dude, what is up with the taxi music?! Foreal? they played some dumb song about a basketball... and i know that's not what they were talking about (k, i'm swaying off topic).

yea, it's me & aix in a cab listening to their dumb music... haha!

After we finished looking around rockwell, we headed to Glorietta (where yet again, they were playing dumbass taxi music... it drives me up the walls). We had more shopping to do... i booked an appointment for us at the nail salon, but that wasn't til 7pm, so i had to stall a bit. It was cool... we had lots of time to go around and look for stuff.

We didn't find anything great... but we did go to Landmark and headed for the little boys section where i found a really cool mesh top... for myself, not for Dylan. haha! (no, i didn't take a picture)

Anyway, we headed to the nail salon and got our nails done. So pretty!!! =) everything was going great, falling right into place, all in schedule and what not. We headed to dinner after (Mars picked us up).

just got her nails done. Work of Art on a tiny canvas...

Aix wanted Italian, so we planned to have dinner at Pasto (the Fort) which was so convenient...

I chose Mars to have dinner with us coz for the past 2 years, everytime i took her out for her birthday dinner, it was always with Mars. So to make it less obvious, i did the same thing again this year... so nothing looked suspiscious or out of the norm. Pretty slick, right? By this time, my heart was pounding and i was getting mad nervous. I didn't know if people were gonna show up on time or if the setup was gonna get done on time or whatever. I was just nervous because of the fact that i didn't know whether i was gonna pull this off perfectly or not at all.

Dinner seemed like forever and right after, as soon as, i finish my meal, my phone beaps and it's her friends saying that they were already at the venue ready to set up but the manager wouldn't let them in.

We were having the party at The Prince Of Jaipur (at the Fort) and the Norah Jones after party was gonna be there too at the same night, so they were being really strict. However, i had talked to the owner and had arrangements already... but my sisters' friends didn't know what to do and i didn't wanna leave them there by themselves hanging.

I ditch my sister with Mars. haha! headed to Jaipur, worked my magic, set up, and everything was in place. All that was left was for the rest of her friends to show up...

Norah Jones "party" had reserved the whole entire 2nd floor. I had the balcony for my sister's surprise, but they said we had to be out of there by 10pm coz they had to set up and get ready for Norah Jones. I told em it would only take 2 minutes for the surprise and then we would transfer downstairs to our reserved tables. It was gonna be quick... so i thought.

10:15pm and half her friends still haven't arrived. I was nervous as hell and i had ditched Aix an hour and 15minutes... and still counting. I full on ditched. Told her i had to go to a meeting at Jaipur for something... and just left. She completely understood... but i felt bad for leaving her for so long. I didn't know whether she was getting suspiscious or anything.

Then the manager comes up to me and tells me that we really had to leave because the Norah Jones Party was gonna be arriving earlier than expected. I didn't have a choice--- i texted my sister saying "The meeting is taking too long. Just come over. It's nothing confidential anyway." I told the manager i just needed 5 more minutes and i was nervous as hell. I so wanted it to work.

Finally, people arrived, the set up was perfect... the cakes were in one table, the presents on another and ALL her friends bunched up in the middle... i met Aix at the bottom of the stairs, walked her up to the balcony, and BaM!! "SuRpRiSE!!!"

She totally didn't expect it... and she cried!!! =) and I cried!!! haha!

The night went on... and it was just pure FuN. I was high on happiness the whole night. =) Aix was happy and that was all that really mattered.

*PhEw* glad that's done and over with.

HapPy 18th BirthDaY Aix. I LuV yOu! =)

the DaNciNg BuG

"i'm back in full effect"

...well, atleast i'd like to think so.
It took a while for me to get back into it... and no, it wasn't as easy as riding a bike. I knew i "kinda" had it in me, but it was just hard getting back into it the way i used to do it. I had my excuses. I was shy to begin with, a bit insecure... but once all that got outa the way, and i started not to care again... it was all good. =)

It felt kinda funny hearing it from everyone... everybody saying, "the old Thea is back." What does that really mean? Besides, am i really the "old Thea"?

I think i've been thinking too much the past few weeks... been getting into a lot of the deep issues too.

hmm... i wonder what's going on in this head of mine...


yea... the dancing bug is back. haha!

milestones

Every person has their own story. Each unique individual has gone through a certain something that they can certainly claim as "theirs". People meet other people all the time... new bonds are formed every single day... but people who form a milestone in your life--- those don't come around everyday.

Do you ever have a feeling that you were meant to meet the people in your life for a purpose? Do you believe in Destiny? That your whole life has been written out for you and you're only living this life as if you were playing out a part, following the script of a play? Maybe not entirely, right? but in a way, just kinda?

For me, the chapters in my life and the different phases that i've gone through are categorized by the people who were in my life at the time (well, most of the time, anyway). It sort of goes something like this:
"remember back in the day when 'so-and-so' happened and 'whoever' was there too?''
Is it just me... am i making any sense?

Sometimes it's hard to let the people in your life just go. It's hard to leave the past behind, move forward, look into the future, and it's definitely hard to let go of relationships, that for a moment in time, meant the whole world to you. But sometimes... that moment... those months/weeks/days/years/hours/minutes... maybe that's all you really get.

It would be nice to believe that fairy tales do come true... and your "friends forever"... do remain your friends forever. But the matter of the fact is... people change, everything changes. Sometimes, the best thing to do, or even the only thing to do is let go.

It'll be painful, it's gonna be hard, it'll be sad... but in time, it will heal. Things always gets better. Sometimes the hardest things that come your way in life happen to be the best for you.

"Don't fight life... life always wins."

Denial just makes things worse. What tends to happen is--- you build yourself up for an awful let down and things end up shittier than how it started. The faster you realize the truth, the earlier you face it... the easier it is, and the better.

Look, i'm no expert... but i've gone through enough pain, heartbreak, loss, and depression to know even 80% of what i'm talking about. I'm not doing this for anyone. I'm just trying to clear things up for myself. It's been an awkward week or so for me... i'm in a state of "i kinda don't know where i am and what i'm doing".

When you've been in a relationship for so long... things tend to change. You get used to routines, certain circumstances change you... and sometimes you just kinda lose yourself. 3 long years, i have come to realize, completely changed me. I don't know who i really am. I was spoiled rotten and became somewhat dependent. That wasn't who i used to be and that's not who i want to be. I feel as if i was trapped for so long in a certain environment with only so much... and then all of a sudden i'm let out into the world... and i don't know what to do.

So this is it. I'm starting from rock bottom. I needed this... not for anything in particular. Just for me.

"it's jus one of 'em dayz..."

what am i supposed to say? "The end of an Era"? "A new beginning"? "A new chapter"? The list could go on and on... one cliche after another. You've heard it once, you know it all. There's just no other way to put it... and i just don't know what to say about it.

3 years is a long time. A damn long time. "Change is inevitable"... need i say more?
I'm not posting this up on here to hurt/offend anyone in particular... and i know you know that. I don't understand why it's so much easier for me to write things down rather than just say it right out. However, for some reason, i can't even begin to comprehend... i've been able to say what i wanted and needed to say for so long (and speak clearly, and say exactly what's on my mind, straight up, for that matter)... and that's hardly ever happened before.

I used to drown in guilt. I used to be obliged to be in something i no longer had my heart in. Not only is that wrong... but it's unfair. Not necessarily to me... but to him.

What the hell is love anyway? What the hell is a commitment? If you love each other unconditionally, and you're there for each other, isn't that enough? What makes a relationship, and what makes a relationship "work"? Why do we crave for that "special someone" to sweep us off our feet and together, for the rest of our lives, live happily ever after?! Why, oh why, does it have to be this way?

So many questions... and the answers are just all over the place. I so needa vent...

(to be continued?)

RaNdom NonSenSe that i just feel like i want to babble on about...

The past month has opened my eyes. The window of opportunity just flung itself open and i just couldn't help but take that ticket and jump right out. It's been such a crazy month, i've practically lost track of time and can hardly even believe that it's March already. That's the third month this year!!! and i feel like we only celebrated New Years last week!

work
Things are really starting to look up. I've done the dancing, the dj thing, the PR ish, and the whole getting paid to party. It totally rocked because i was getting to paid to do everything i loved to do and hang out with all my best buds all at the same time. It was one of the best times of my life... but in my opinion... seriously speaking, and looking at things realistically, the chances of me going back to that are nearly slim to nil (Unless of course the pay is double-triple of what it used to be).
I make jewelry now. Yea, i'll just put it that way... plain and simple. I make jewelry. It started as a hobby because i couldn't find anything i liked out there and it was so much easier to make it myself. It was introduced to me by my boyfriend's mother (i wouldn't dare say "mother-in-law) when i was pregnant. Being a bum in the house and i had completely nothing to do, the whole jewelry making thing was perfect.
Somehow it just took over all on it's own. I started wearing my stuff... people liked it, asked me where i got it, told em i made, they ordered it, i sold it. That's that. Now, it's doing so well... i don't really know how to handle it. I can't possibly make all the orders all by myself. People are asking me to come up with a name for my stuff... and all that comes through my brain is just a blank. So far, i've sold my stuff to my buddies and my gurls... most of them do a lot of gigs so my "creations" get a lot of exposure. I have my homegurl Sarah Meier rocking a necklace, my bro Brent Javier, and my buddy Greg Martin modeling my ish for me (haha!) and the gurls from Haylo and Hotlegs keep asking me to keep the accessories coming. It's overwhelming, it's tiring, but it's fulfilling, and it's great! =)
It's nice to know that people appreciate my work. It's a huge compliment to me when i just see 'em light up when they see my stuff. I love it! As draining as it is, it makes me happy knowing that i'm doing something for myself, all on my own (with the help of my ever-loving sister, of course), and it's working out nicely.
The only hard part is... when i make something that i absolutely love and adore... it's hard to part with it. I'd like to keep it... but i know i need the money. And i refuse to make doubles. I can't work like that. I feel like everyone is entitled to their own personality and identity, therefore each piece is unique. I know i can't do that for long... because it's bad for business and blah blah blah... but that's how it's gonna be for as long as i can keep it that way. I try to match the accessory to the person i have it in mind for... i want people to be like, "Oh my God! That is so (name of person here)!" YOu know what i mean, right?
And selling a piece that i absolutely love... and especially when i worked sooooo hard on it... it's really difficult to let it go. It's like giving away my babies. (ok, getting dramatic here... it's not that bad, but you get the picture right?)
So that's the 411 on the biZneSs part of my life. IF you have any ideas for a name or have any comments... please feel free. I'll take all the advice, comments, or even harsh criticicm anyone is willing to give me. =)
Oh, and i'm thinking i wanna just practice spinning again... just for the hell of it. As surprising and as weird as it may seem... i really miss it.
And as for the dancing... it's not as easy as riding a bike... but i'm getting there. I'm earning my stripes back rather quick... but a little more time and then i can fully say, "I'm back in full effect." =) (If you've seen me kick it with my gurls at Embassy... then you'll know what i mean)

just for fun
Another thing i gotta talk about... Embassy. I gotta talk about this. Finally, they open up a club again where the main purpose for people (well, us, anyway--- meaning my crew) is to dance. None of that "to be seen" shit or "dress to impress" kinda crap... it's all in the name of fun. However, we still get a few of those previously mentioned on the line above, but really, you can't avoid that.
What is up with the people who can't stop staring at themselves in the mirror no matter what it is they're doing?!?! Be it dancing (are you in dance class?), sipping from a drink, making beso?!?!, or just sitting or anything for that matter. It's cool to check yourself out every now and then... but seriously... complete vanity or just plain insecurity? please... go the the washroom or something... you look fine already (either that, or "You're not that pretty...c'mon.")
okay, i'm being harsh. gotta stop now.
Okay, drinking. I was liquor free for about a year... and because of that, my friends take great pleasure in taking advantage of my low tolerance and my healthy kidney. I'm sad to report that i have once again experienced that not-so-great feeling of being utterly sick to my stomach, i had to yack it out. It's nice to know that people are trying to bring the old days back and are striving to make the party scene as "happening" as it used to be... but getting me wasted doesn't do the social scene any good. So quit it with me. I like a steady buzz... so when i say, "I'm good" just take my word for it and quit trying to stuff tequila down my throat. Thanks.

the love of my life
i'm talking about the little one. The 10 month old who's malikot, noisy, and smelly. Yes, i absolutely love him to bits and pieces. He's got 7 teeth!!! count it!! seven!! Ugh... he's growing up so fast. In two months he'll be ONE. He's loving the walker and even runs when he's on it. He's gonna be walking soon... and i swear, when that moment comes, i'm gonna cry. He said "Dada" to his dad the other day, and i cried. Seriously, either i was just crazy PMSing or the whole pregnancy and giving birth thing just made me 10x more sensitive than i used to be. I cry about everything now... it's crazy.
So Dylan is doing so well. I'm so proud of him and i love him so much! He's happy, healthy, and loving life... every single moment of it.
My whole family is struggling just passing him around during the day... that's how energetic he is... all that energy from such a small child, it's amazing! Which is why we all live for NAP times... =) hehe

hmm... so much more to talk about, not enough time. I have to go to a dinner now.
Maybe i'll continue this some other time.
paySH! =p