*gAsP*

***whoa! i have a lota catching up to do. Haven't been able to update coz my son needs me. I don't have a yaya (i refuse to get one), and being a single mom really takes a lot out of a person. whew! God intended for parents to instantly fall in love with their kids, because otherwise, the human species would become extinct (due to parents abandoning their kids because it's frikin' cRaZy!). I'm just playing... kind of. I'm in love with my son, he means the world to me and everybody knows that. However, i'm gonna dedicate an entire post discussing the downside of motherhood... because it's not always rainbows and daisies. And society sees a complaining mom as a "bad mother". So not true... and only other mothers out there will fully understand.

*whEEze*gAsp*pUff*whEEze*
i went to the gym today for the first time in... hmm... let's see... a year! and HoLy ShiEt!!! Getting started all over again is so hard, i'm about ready to accept myself as FaT (no offense to overweight people). But i'm not really gonna do that... because i'm determined to fit into my old clothes and will not be completely happy until i do. And i'm not talking about fitting into my clothes in a pilit manner, i'm talking about fitting into my clothes comfortably. God, i miss wearing my jeans.

So i got up bright and early today. I hitched a ride to the gym with Mars. I got there, did the whole registration bit, and was introduced to a trainer. This guy was gonna show me around and introduce me to a routine that i should do from now on. I started off with the treadmill... 30 minutes. Piece of Cake. By this time, i was thinking, "wow, that was easy. I'm probably not so out of shape as i thought". Then, i did the bike thing... another 30 minutes. *gAsP* *arg* *diZZy* Who ever thought that riding a bike would be so hard?! I thought the treadmill would murder me and that the bike would be nothing! i guess i got it all wrong. Then i did a bit of weights and finished off with some crunches. Good God... doesn't sound like much but it really kicked my ass. *boo hoo* i'm so outa shape.

I now realize that it's gonna take a lot of time and a lot of hard work and determination to achieve my desired figure. I gained 60 pounds throughout my pregnancy and i've already lost 45 pounds just by being a mother... but this last 15 pounds is such a bitch. I long for Toblerone that can make me lose pounds and inches with every triangle. ha! dream on...

But really, i'm taking this work out seriously. I used to do it religiously, and i don't remember it being this hard. *arg* I'm considering taking some of the classes too... heard some of them were really good.

That trainer, his name is Don, told me to hire him as my personal trainer... for 5,600 pesos a month. Are you kidding me?! the gym is expensive enough, and now they want me to hire someone to tell me what to do and kill me in the process of losing weight? hell nah! (i'm only joking) i know a personal trainer would help a lot and probably force me to lose weight faster... but that rate is pretty steep. I could use that money for milk and diapers...

So there... my first day at the gym. This is gonna be one looooooong process. I'll let you know when i fit in my "skinny jeans" again. *sigh*

f@#n$#!%+ cLowNs

Clowns are supposed to be funny. They're hired to do magic tricks at a kid's party, dance at a circus, and serve as entertainment at amusement parks. Kids are supposed to love them and people are supposed to find them to be quite amusing... but they're not.

Call me nutty, but clowns seriously freak me out. They're seriously scary. Even just thinking about it sends shivers up my spine.

I'm writing about this because a few days ago i saw this commercial on AXN... it's the new Nokia commercial (i think) and it involved a whole bunch of clowns. I knew i was terrified of clowns before, but it was only til i saw this commercial that it was confirmed that I have serious fear of clowns (there's got to be a name for it). They scare the living daylights outa me.

If somebody wanted to play a mean prank on me, the perfect one that would scare me shitless outa my pants... involves clowns. If someone tricked me into entering a room and locked the door behind me, and i found myself in a plain white room filled with dozens of clowns doing their thing or just staring at me... i would freak out and go insane. If somebody went into that room to check up on me no later than 5 minutes, i'd probably be found curled up in a corner, rocking back and forth, mumbling nonsense, just asking for everything to stop or "make it go away".

There's nothing amusing about them. If i heard "clown music" in the dark, it would scare me. The "clown laugh" would make me cry. And a clown popping up outa nowhere... i'd probably scream like there was no tomorrow and run like a lunatic (that's if i don't get a heart attack first).

BLAH! *arg* i hate clowns. My parents hired a clown for my little sister's party when she was like 10 or 11... i couldn't go because that clown was there and i didn't wanna be anywhere near it. I was at Enchanted Kingdom a few years back and this clown came up to me asking if i wanted to take a picture with him (Why would anyone?!), and i ran away. And when i was watching that commercial, there's this one bit where they run towards the camera and they appeared to be coming closer and fear rushed over me. Am i crazy?

I don't know. There just seems to be too much mystery behind them. I feel like there's evil lurking underneath all that fake, colorful hair, baggy clothes, and unbelievably thick makeup. It just really scares me...

But that's just me. I scare easy because i've got a seriously crazy, wild imagination. I'm a total wimp. Anything that has anything to do with ghostly, haunted, spirit, mystic, creepy, old, dark shit--- all that terrifies me. Total darkness, deafening silence, & being alone creeps me out. Whenever i'm left alone during a blackout, i freak. That's why i fuckin' hate it when a blackout happens and i'm in the shower--- with shampoo in my hair! Shadows scare me. My imagination is so wild i create shapes and a horror story starts playing in my head. Trees at night... staring at those leaves... *brrr* Dark corners, alleys, windows, and such... the list goes on and on.

I've tried to take control and get over my fears... but i just can't. This is why i can't watch horror flicks. The images stay in my head, and i get visuals at night. As stupid at this may seem, when i watched the Blair Witch Project & the Sixth Sense (all in the same day. what the fuck was i thinking?!), i couldn't sleep for like 3 weeks. I had to stay up at night, and sleep during the day. I got a serious case of insomnia because of that. I'm not even joking. The trailers of the horror flicks frighten me. I saw the trailer of Gothika... and the image of that girl at the end of the hall drove me nuts. I couldn't go to the bathroom at night for weeks because of that. It's not the story itself that frightens me... well, sometimes they do, but it's mostly the images that get stuck in my head (i've got Hollywood's expert make-up artists, and special effects people to thank for that). Which is why no matter how dull the story, if the make up, the acting (of the monster or ghost or whatever), and the image are convincing enough... it'll drive me up the walls.

I have enough images haunting me at night which is why i've retired from watching any kind of horror film. I don't care how stupid they are or how "not scary" it is... the answer is NO.

See, watching that simple, "harmless" Nokia commercial brought out the wimp in me. It got me all worked up and let those haunting images in my brain loose.

I can't help it... i wonder what it was that traumatized me as a child?

*dyLan*

I just thought this was the cutest thing i've ever seen... he looks like such a little boy (u know what i mean). He's getting so big... We brought him to the mall for the very first time & he loved it! =)


**yea, that's my hand holding him up just to make sure he doesn't fall off the chair. haha! =)
check out the kicks!!! =p



He doesn't look very happy... probably knew we were gonna make him wear a dress... haha! =) He was also cranky coz he just woke up, it was crazy HOT, and we were taking pictures of him non-stop that day. hmm... it must be tough being the center of attention 24 hours a day. ha! =p we need to take a better picture together.


**He was wearing the cutest jumper. haha! and he had to wear this bonnet (for the christening) that made him look like a li'l Dutch boy! haha! (God, what parents do to their babies) But really, we didn't have a choice. He had to wear it. But he was adorable none the less. =) and yes, that's me... with 15 more pounds to lose and running on an hour and a half of sleep.


Dylan's laughing now... and he plays peek-a-boo! =) He's so much fun. He's so malikot! won't keep still for a second. He's so eager to start moving on his own. And he's hella madaldal. Always trying to talk, coo-ing away, always has something to say. I wish i could understand him. He's just so amazing... the progress he's making just blows me away! He's my own little ray of sunshine. =)

$ cash money $

"money makes the world go round"

Most people these days will do almost anything for a buck. Check out all the reality tv shows... it's all about money, money, money. What a person can do is limited depending on the amount of money they have in their bank account. People think that the more money you got, the more fun you have.

The prices of everything nowadays is ridiculous, seriously. Compare how things are now to how everything cost, let's say about 40 years ago... and the difference is crazy! It takes so much money to do even the simplest things in today's world. I freakin' hate it.

Of course, i'm complaining. Having a baby cost big bucks! Such a tiny person, so many needs. The cost of diapers and milk alone is no joke. Clothes aren't so cheap either and they only use it for a few months until you have to buy new ones because the old ones don't fit anymore. Not to mention the things that they need like a bath tub, a high chair, a crib, a set of drawers, toys, bottles, sheets and such. What more if you hire a yaya to help? It's crazy. And because of this (if you're a normal person in the "middle class" register of society) you're forced to give up certain luxuries you used to indulge in before "me" turned into "we". *arg*

Can you imagine what life as Oprah is like? for somebody who makes 140 million dollars a year? or Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston? who built a house on an island that they own? or bought matching mercedes-something-really-expensive just because they could (or because Brad Pitt didn't like the color but Jen liked it so he gave it to her and bought a new one for himself)? How about Michael Jackson? He has his own theme park in his back yard (well, not anymore coz it got repossessed or something coz he's gone broke... but my point is he had one). What about a main cast member on Friends? They made over 1 million dollars per episode!!! There's that much money going around yet there are still starving people in Africa... hmm... it's a wonder.

For once, i'd like to know what it feels like to be financially independent. Go on a shopping spree and not care about how much i'm spending... don't even bother to look at the price tags! Just buy stuff because i like it and know i can afford it no matter how expensive it is. *sigh* Wouldn't that be something? Hop on a plane whenever and go to wherever just because i can. =) I'd like to be able to buy anything for the ones i love (without worrying how much it's gonna cost or whether i'll be able to afford it) just because i know it'll make them happy. Wouldn't that be great? Fully pamper myself in a spa for a whole day twice or even three times a week just because i want to... *hihi* wow... maybe some day. For now, i can dream, can't i?

gratitude

*** just recently, a friend of mine wrote a whole entry dedicated to gratitude and it really got me thinking. No matter how bad one's life seems to get, there will always be something to be thankful for. If you think about it and find even just one thing that makes you happy, or something simple to be thankful for, then consider yourself lucky... because out there, there are millions of people who'd give anything to be in your place.

a different world...
I think it was last week, i had a dentist appointment at Shangri La. My sister, Aix, and I were gonna take the train because we decided that it would be really convenient and we wanted to go on a little "adventure" (haha). Who knew a simple train ride could be such an eye opener. You see a lota shit going on just walking the streets of Manila. Children roaming the streets trying to make a peso (and who knows whether it's to feed their families or to be given to some kind of synidicate). Children sleep on the island that separates the highways. What kind of a childhood is that? Families living on the side of the road or in cardboard houses next to the ilog filled with basura. Homeless people starving, just lying on the streets, looking like they're almost dead. Just look at Cubao and see all those people trying to find some sort of way to make a living... just to scrap up enough dough to make a so-called living. It's really sad... and it's hard to imagine a world so cruel, so ugly, & so painful... yet it truly does exist.

Out there, there are lives completely different from ours. Imagine having to work your whole life just to be able to put whatever kind of food on the table. Imagine a life full of straight up hard work & never ending struggles. Imagine being born into a life where opportunities are so limited... where your life has been written because they knew that it would never get better... a life where their main concern was simply to survive.

But there are certain people in that situation who are okay with the way things are... who appreciate the simplest things in life. That is something to truly admire.

back in our world...
i think we all manage to take things for granted... no matter how big or small. We fail to see the big picture and somehow concentrate on the bad detail. Nowadays it seems like it's so much easier to be negative and it's a lot harder to think positive. We often forget to appreciate the many blessings in our lives... i know i do. So here goes nothing...

I am thankful/grateful for...

Dylan. Who changed my life, came into this world completely unexpected and chose me to be his mother. Because of him i have learned to be more loving & more responsible. His simple presence can lift anyone's spirit & has brought my family closer together. My experience with him has opened my eyes and made me realize so much. He is my world & i love him more than anything.

My Mom & Dad. For all the love, support, & encouragement they have given me throughout my whole life. For the bond that we share. For never giving up on me no matter how impossible i became. For always making sure that i got the best things in life & for always guiding me towards the right direction. For understanding me so well & fully accepting me for the person i am.

My sister, Aica. Who became my best friend the day i decided i would stop picking on her. She's the only person in the world who i can go completely insane with and she always gets me. We have our weird moments that never fail to make me laugh. Our milliions and millions of inside jokes that are so crazy, i'll laugh by myself and people will think i'm weird. She's always willing to listen (but sometimes i nag so much she gets impatient, however, listens to me anyway) and is there for me no matter what the situation. She will forever keep me grounded and tells me how it is straight up. I love her unconditionally & she means the world to me.

Mars. Who strongly, sincerely, and unconditionally loves me as he does. He's always there for me whenever i need a shoulder to cry on. For never giving up on us no matter how insane it got. For sticking around & getting me through the difficult times and sharing with me the happiest ones. For his never ending support & encouragement... for understanding me and fully accepting me as i am despite my ugly imperfections.

The people who love me, food on the table, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, & a good education.

My happy childhood. My crazy, rollercoaster-of-a-ride teenage years--- where i learned so much & figured out who the hell i am and what i'm all about. And now, the beginning of a wonderful motherhood... =)

Toblerone, Ferrero Rocher, Haagen Dazs, Cibo, Big Chill, Auntie Anne's, Starbucks/Seattle's Best, & Mrs. Fields.

*sigh*
yes, life is good... =)
... watch it get better.

sleep deprived

Aug. 1, 2004 * Dylan's Baptismal

just my opinion:
If it were up to me and Mars... we wouldn't have had a baptismal for Dylan. But we wanted to end all the nagging and the controversy revolving around the idea, so we agreed to have it done. It was a safe decision... this way nobody gets offended and nobody gets hurt. We picked the ninongs and the ninangs based on friendship & trust. The official ones are in there... but we also included those that just had to be in there (if you know what i mean). I'm not evil or anything... but i just couldn't deal with the stress anymore. The weeks before the baptismal, i was seriously stressing over how we were gonna pull it all off... and it was hard. In the end, we went with the simplest idea... "let's just put em all in there". Besides, those who'll take it seriously will stick around, and for those who won't, if they disappear, it's no loss.

We also didn't wanna spend too much. The baby shower was enough, i thought... and i hate playing host. So the reception was another thing to think about and yet again just added to the stress. This time, Tina, Mars' sister, volunteered to cater... and she actually did a very good job. *yay* We put up tents on the garden, had tables and chairs brought in and balloons to decorate the place. It was really pretty... white and baby blue all over. =)

To make it clear, I believe in a God... just not a particular one. I believe bits and pieces from different religions... i agree with some, i disagree with others. I'm catholic/christian... just not a practicing one. I'm not religious, however, i do pray, i have beliefs, morals, and values... i'm just not under a certain category... you know what i mean.

so there...

one long day...
My day starts at 5:30am. *blech* Our little soldier is up and he wants to be fed. So naturally, i get up... slowly, & half asleep, i walk over to his crib and pick him up. I've had only an hour and a half of sleep, i'm cranky as hell, and i know i have a long day ahead of me... i need to get this feeding over with and go back to sleep. He flashes me that big, bright, good morning smile he does every single morning... and that was it. I was under his spell. I had no idea what i was in for... this was the beginning of one long day.

Usually, right after he eats, Dylan falls right back to sleep again. We get an average of 8 hours of sleep together at night. He'll wake up for one feeding in the middle of the night. If i'm lucky, he'll eat after 8 hours and fall back to sleep... in that case, sometimes i get 10 hours of sleep. *yay* those are our good days. But it was all interrupted the day he got his shots. Ever since then, he's been a bit cranky. His sleeping pattern got all messed up. We lost the schedule we had worked so hard on achieving... that was 2 and half months of discipline and training down the drain. *sob*

So the little man is up. Wide eyed and active. I was stubborn as hell though and i tried to do everything in my power to put this guy back to sleep. I tried rocking him, feeding him some more, not talking to him and just swaying... basically, i tried everything. Nothing worked. For a whole hour and a half, i tried to put him back to sleep. This little man was wide awake.

So it's 7am... and i take him outside on his stroller to go soak up some sun and absorb that Vitamin D. His non-stop smiling and constant coo-ing amuses me and he was just so darn adorable... i just had to play with him. I couldn't be upset with him... i just couldn't. But after an hour of playing with him... my battery was running low and i was in desperate need of help... so i called my mom and asked her to come over asap.

It was a big day, and there was just so much to be done... i knew i wouldn't survive running on an hour and a half of sleep so i was desperate to get some rest. When my mom got to the house, it was such a relief. I fixed up a few balloons, chatted for a bit (by this time i was so delirious, i just blabbed nonsense) until my mom told me to shut up and get some sleep. I went into the room, got on the bed, shut my eyes, and tried to sleep... wouldn't you know it? i couldn't. I was just thinking about so many things and stressing so much that my brain just wouldn't shut off. After a whole hour of trying, i got so frustrated, i started to cry. (haha!) No use in being useless... so i got up and officially started my day.

First on my list, manicure and pedicure. When you're taking care of a baby, that's your life and you tend to forget about yourself a bit. I wasn't gonna go see everybody and show up with ugly nails. Besides, it was my "feel good" thing for me that week. So I headed to the salon & got myself a Grande Cafe Mocha. *yay*

We were supposed to be at the church by 4pm. By the time i got back to the house it was already 2pm. I started getting ready right away. and blah blah blah.

We were running late coz there was just so much chaos going on. But despite all that, we sorta got to the church on time. But where were all the ninangs? I specifically told the ninangs to be at the church at 4pm SHARP. I reminded them earlier that morning even... they didn't really do much as far as being involved with the whole baptism thing went... all they had to do was show up at the church on time... and they couldn't even do that. It wasn't only disappointing... it was mad frustrating. I didn't even know what to think anymore. I don't even wanna elaborate on what was going through my head at the time.

We happened to pick the hottest day of the year to have the baptism at a non-airconditioned church too. It was horrible.

There was a line for all the baptisms for that day. The priest was getting impatient so we couldn't wait any longer and had to start already. So we did it... with 2 ninongs and 4 ninangs... and the (supposedly) 3 "official" ninangs missing. I was pissed... but didn't have enough energy to show it. And i didn't wanna spoil everything by being in a bad mood... so whatever. I let it slide. I didn't care anymore. The people who were considerate enough to be there on time were there... and that was appreciated.

I'm so happy that Dylan was so well behaved and was such an angel throughout the whole thing. I guess he figured i was stressing enough already and decided he'd take it easy on me. =)

The missing ninangs got there like 10 minutes before the ceremony ended... and the first thing they said to me was, "you guys actually started on time?" arg... oh puh-lease. "well... yea." *blech* atleast they showed up? right?

5pm. The reception was at the house... and when we got there, everybody said that it was so pretty. The food was great too, so everything went well. =)

I spent the rest of the night "socializing" and "catching up" with old friends. But i was so delirious i could barely hold a straight conversation. It was hard! and everytime i went into the room to take a breather, maybe lie down and rest, i couldn't. Everybody seemed to invite themselves into the bedroom and invade the bed. So i couldn't do that. I tried my best to stay up... it was a struggle. Sure, i was glad to see everybody and it was nice to hang out... but all i could really think about was getting some sleep. I was so sleep deprived... i didn't know what to do. But i stuck it out, i was a trooper... i stayed up and hung out with everybody til about 10pm. Thank God they all decided they wanted to do movie night and catch a movie at greenbelt... i don't think i coulda made it any longer.

By the time they had all left, i had taken a shower and was ready for bed, Dylan was asleep too... he had such an exciting day. He saw so many different people, heard all the different voices, and took a car ride to a place he had never seen before. The little soldier was out cold.

I'm just glad it's all over now... we're not gonna be doing anything like this probably til his 1st birthday. ha! 9 more months to go. =) I'll be spending the rest of the week trying to recharge and catch up on some sleep... i'm glad Dylan's decided to take it easy on me. And I'm ever so glad that my mom and Aix are more than willing to come over to babysit when i need them...

Dylan's 3 months old today... i've never been more in love. =) *sigh*

QBeRt

* July 31, 2004 * Saturday * The Loft, Rockwell *

Breakin' it down...
it was my first time out since November, last year. The days before that were spent contemplating whether i should really go or just stay at home. It wasn't as simple as just "going out to see Qbert, one of, if not the, greatest DJ in the world". It meant going out. Seeing people. Wearing something decent (and the chore of looking for something to wear is not so fun right now). Leaving Dylan at home for more than a couple of hours. Basically, it was doing something i wasn't used to anymore, and technically, something i didn't even like to do anymore.

In the end, however, i decided to go. I missed Qbert's showcase the last time he was here... this was my opportunity to make up for that & i thought if i missed this one again, i might end up regretting it. So i went...

I decided to go in track pants, sneakers, and a sweater. haha! =) it was comfortable, and it worked to my advantage. It made me appear slimmer than i really am, and it was cold at the Loft, so my outfit was just right for the occassion (well, i think). We got there at around 10:30pm. Traffic on EDSA was a bitch. We parked, got out of the car and headed towards the entrance. (this may sound so dramatic, but i really didn't know what to do, what to expect, or anything. It felt like this was all so new to me). We got our stamp, and headed upstairs.

The place was empty. The amount of people in there couldn't even cover HALF of a quarter of the room. I felt relieved, at first. I didn't have to run into so many people, it wouldn't get crowded and stuffy, and the smoke level would stay at a minimum. Then, i felt embarrassed. The Philippines is Qbert's homeland... and the support he gets from the people here... well, it isn't something to brag about. Most of the HipHop posers in this country really just don't get it. Where the hell was everybody? hmm... on a Saturday night? well... Halo was an option... and i think Greenbelt had something going on. I don't think enough advertising was done to promote this event at all. The people who showed up either knew somebody who had something to do with the event, or was a friend of that somebody who knew somebody who had something to do with the event. Pretty sad, huh? oh, and the cover charge was 250 pesos... i know a grip of people who wouldn't pay a peso to get inot a club no matter how bitchin' it was inside. ha! So i know, that contributed to the lacking-of-people factor. 250 pesos cover charge repels people from a party like rats from a burning building (i'm just playin. It's probably not that bad).

So, i'm standing there waiting for something to happen. There was a local DJ playing... i wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing. So i can't really remember whether he was trying to do a showcase of his own or plain mixing beats. There were a couple of performances waiting to go on before Qbert did his thing... and they said that wouldn't start until the place was filled up. Who were they kidding?! Seriously, that place had no hope of filling up. I'm not kidding. I'm telling you, it was sad.

I've been out of the house for 2 freakin' hours and still... nothing. i thought i was only gonna be there til 11:30pm. 12am at the latest. It was weird standing there... i was actually out. I was observing how everything was. What the people did, who was hanging out with who, what kinda music they were playing... and you know what was different from the last time i went out? (Which was last year, mind you). Not a damn thing. Yes, it was the same people, doing the same old thing, listening to the same played out music. It was weird. I guess i really didn't miss out on anything, huh? Familiar faces came up to me and asked me where i've been... and when i responded, "Actually, i was pregnant, and i just gave birth." They wouldn't believe me. I got a few, "no, really..." and a couple of, "ha! good one. what? you were outa the country or something?" and i would just stand there and be like, "No... seriously. i have a son now." Some, believed me... and would continue with either, "congratulations" or (i hate this one) "ah! kaya pala tumaba ka..." and others just really didn't take me seriously and walk off with "ha! good one." so there. Other people didn't even ask where i've been or what happened to me (which i really really liked).

I wanted to go home... and i was slowly starting to regret that i had come out that night. In a way, i was being reassured that that certain phase in my life is completely over. I'm focusing on a whole different kind of thing now. I'm just not what i used to be anymore. Everything's changed...

ok, really--- QBeRt!
Finally, at around 12:30am or 1am (not really sure, all i know is i waited for a really long time)... Qbert was gonna play. The sad thing was, there were less people now that he was finally on than there were when the bands were playing or the opening Dj's. QBeRt's roadie/tech guy actually came up to me and my gurls an hour before saying, "Thank you so much for staying and for supporting us... this is the last leg of our tour. Right before this, we came from Australia and performed for over 7,000 people! we come to our homeland and we're out tonight to perform for 7 people. We appreciate you guys staying out tonight. Thanks." and he wasn't being sarcastic... he was actually sincere. I guess he was just glad that there were people there.

The Philippines was the last leg of the tour. Before coming here, they performed in Australia, Japan, & Korea. Based on the videos being shown on the screen... each event housed thousands of fans. The fans were all crazy for Qbert. Girls were having their boobs autographed (ha!), guys would have their heads signed, some even had tattoos of Qberts signature! *wow* To finish up their tour, they come here... i think it was even more of like a pity stop. "Why not drop by the Philippines coz it's our homeland?" type thing. They hardly had any support over here... it was embarassing.

anyway...

so QBeRt. This guy gets paid $10,000 for a 45 minute showcase (on a normal day... not so sure if that's the case with his performance here that night though). crazy, huh? =) But this guy is a genius. A tiny little MofO, but a genius. haha! He was walkin around talkin to people, and i just couldn't believe how tiny this guy was. He must be like 5.1" or something. But i'm not here to talk about his height... i'm here to comment on his performance. (well... i'm gonna try)

He carries with him an i-pOd, a huge flight case for his records (which i thought was a bit useless coz he only used like 2-3 records... so was that really necessary?) , and his very own designer deck (released by Vestax) called the QFO (i think). That QFO was the craziest thing! it's a turntable, a mixer, a "CD player" (but really, he just hooked up his i-pod to it, so it's just like his "music player"), the works, ALL IN ONE. It's this round deck, with the cross fader at the bottom, the volume levels for channels A & B on either side, right above it were the Lows, Mids, and Highs for each channel and effect buttons at the side, and the deck itself was the middle. Crazy and convenient.

Yoga Frog was his MC, and they had a camera taping every move Qbert was making. It appeared on a wide screen so the people who couldn't see what he was doing up front could just watch that.

I've never seen anybody manipulate beats & sounds the way this guy did... it was astounding. Everybody was in awe. He did everything a normal Dj could only aspire to be able to do. From baby scratches to the complex ones... it was genius and sheer perfection. Let me tell you, if i practiced 24 hours everyday til i'm 90, i still don't think i'd be able to pull all that off. He used everything on the deck... the cross fader, the knobs, the thingamabobs, and the whatchamacallits. His hands were floating oh-so-gracefully across that deck... and it was amazing. I couldn't believe that whatever he was doing up there was creating such dope beats. He made it look soooooooo EASY. But anybody who's ever tried to scratch, mix, blend, or juggle knows that it's no piece of cake. Foreal.

In a NutsHeLL...
He was done in less than an hour. I had waited for almost 4 hours. Don't get me wrong, i thought the showcase was great... but i felt like it was something that i could've appreciated even if i had just watched it on DVD. *tsk tsk tsk*

Walking to the car, i was tired, thirsty, wreaked of cigarette smoke (coz smokers don't care whether it's a non-smoking venue or not... they just light up whenever they please), my throat was coarse... and i just wanted to get home, get some sleep, and check how Dylan was doing (coz i was really missing him).

In a nutshell... I went out, saw Qbert, but at the end of the night, i wish i had just stayed home. *sigh*

I was in for a rough night too... Dylan hasn't been sleeping very well lately (ever since he got his shots, for some reason). Well... he sleeps alright, but he's cranky when he gets up for his middle-of-the-night- feedings. Then, he wakes up hella early (as in 5am early), and stays awake! and since i'm the only person who can really take care of him in this house... it gets very very draining... and some days--- extremely frustrating. What's worse... the following day was his Baptismal Day. So i knew i wouldn't be able to take a nap in the middle of the day or anything. *blech* and true enough... he woke up at 5am... and i functioned the whole day on an hour and a half of sleep. Believe that...

But that's a whole different story...