1-2 stEp

BabyBoy DyLan is walking!!! =) *yAY*

I was the only one around to see it... so i couldn't celebrate with anybody. (boo...) I think i almost cried, but i managed to hold back the tears. (haha! dramatic mother)

I say, "It's about time!". Got me worried there for a bit... usually kids start walking at around 11 months or so... so why's Dylan only walking now? eh... i think he's just lazy. haha! naw, i'm playing. Hey, the books say kids start walking at 12-15 months (ofcourse, this is just me justifying the fact that my son may be a bit late when it comes to the mobility department).

I expected him to start walking at 9 months for all i knew! He did everything else earlier than expected, so why not walking, right? He's been running everytime he uses the walker... seeing that for the first time was pretty amazing. =)

My baby is officially not a baby anymore. =( aww... i'm gonna miss it. I'm gonna miss all the baby stuff...

stage 2: the toddler
oh boy, here i go...


a li'l afternoon swim... =)


planning his escape


ready to roll!

now & then

in about a week and a half it will be exactly a year since the day Dylan came into my life. It will be almost 2 years since my life completely changed. So how different is everything in my life now compared to how it all used to be?

I've been doing a lot of thinking, rearranging, changing, and discovering. Life's been a bit weird the past 2-3 months. It seems to throw in the craziest things when you least expect it... which is ironic coz we should all know that by now but we never seem to do so.

I'm completely past the mourning stage. I'm over the life i left behind, the people who are no longer around, everything i used to do and the person i used to be. For a little while though, i tried to salvage what was left of the "old me" perhaps because i thought it was comfortable to remain as a person whom i already know so very well. Change is one of my biggest enemies. It scares me. It has traumatized me a few too many times. Time and time again, i have had to face it and get over it and deal with it. It's a viscious cycle, really.

Being a mother completely changes a person. I mean, completely (if they take it seriously, anyway). How can it not?! The transformation, the responsibility, the sacrifices that have to be made, and that tiny new person involved... there's no way nothing changes and one remains to be the exact same person she was before the whole baby ordeal.

It took some time... but i know now. There's no way to going back to the life i left behind. It's not like i want to... but there are some things about being young and spontaneous that i will definitely miss. I'm only 21... i grew up too fast. I feel like i'm past my crazy stage... and everyone says that was all meant for your 20's. Well... the beginning of my 20's was a different chapter in my life, alright... just not the one i thought it would be.

I believe in a parallel universe. Somewhere out there, there's another me living a life quite different from the one i know now. (kind of like the Jet Lee movie The ONe). There are almost dozens and hundreds of different stories of how my life "could have been". And it's going on right now... somewhere. I'm not crazy. Just phylosophical. =)

The difference of lifestlye from now and then never ceases to amaze me. the drastic changes i have experienced & my state of mind...

i just ran into a few people recently... they've known me since i was 10 years old, but i haven't seen them since i was 15. After asking me how i've been and listening to the 411... they were shocked, surprised, speechless, and awestruck. Not as if what's happened is a bad thing... more of--- highly unlikely (based on how i was back then).

***sorry... this entry was a mess. I think only i can understand it. It's been hard trying to gather my thoughts together lately... maybe i'll clean it up one of these days. This has been blabbering and gibberish... just so i could put it somewhere and get ish off my mind.

over and out.

frustration doesn't really do anything

One of my bestest gurlfriends is getting married in July and she's having a baby in September. All this is happening in Canada and i'm so bummed i won't be able to be there...
it's frustrating...

I don't wanna elaborate on the main reason on why i'm so frustrated... it's so unfair... and i'm gonna get into trouble mentioning it.

arg! f@#n $#!+

HaPpY BiRthdaY!!! =)

Dylan is turning 1 year old in exactly a month. =)
exactly a year ago... we were having his baby shower. =)
My baby's growing up... *sigh*



is that the same baby?

No official plans for his birthday party yet... but we're leaning towards a Sesame St. party coz he watches them everyday. It's so cute!!! The other day, they had a clapping song and Dylan was dancing and clapping along with them!! hahaha! This kid is growing up so fast.

Oh... and i'm back to my pre-pregnancy looking self. haha! Mission Accomplished! I just looked at a picture of myself from the babyshower last year... and i was freakin' massive. My sister says i looked like a whale. haha! But yeah... that's done and over with. I may have lost all the weight... but i have my battle scars to show off what i've been through. Whaddya know... i lost 63 pounds. Believe that.