don't procrastinate... MOTIVATE!
I've made up my mind. I'm ready. I have to do this. Time to get over my fears and move on already.
The end of an era, the dawn of a new horizon...
I've come to realize that i use that statement a lot. I've had certain phases of my life just come to a complete stop and the next chapter of my life quickly starts to unfold. That's how life really is, isn't it?
And so it starts. The reality that i neglected and the responsibility i irresponsibly ignored is calling out for me.
I'm 22 years old... and i'm about to leave my youth behind and sacrifice my early adult life. I realize that i've been whining over petty things. I've been selfish to the point where my priorities got crazy mixed up. I just wanted my life back again... but i know that no matter how hard i try, my reality will always be there. I can't ignore it any longer. I don't want to reach that point where it becomes something irreplaceable, something i can't get back to, absolutely cannot fix, and then i'll just end up regretting it. I've been selfish.
What could be more important in life than making sure that the well being of your seed is solidified? Isn't that what almost everyone strives for? At some point in everyone's life, all they really want is to know that they've built themselves up well enough to ensure the survival of their seed. That's what i'm supposed to do. That's what i'm about to embark on.
I'm coming home. And when i do... i'm staying there. It's where i belong. That's where my life is at. That's where my loyalty lies, above anything else. I have to focus on my family and moving on to bigger and better things.
I can't live like this... the way i've been dealing with my life for the past 6 years. My lifestyle has to completely change. No more halfies. I can't try to balance things out. Being a parent is about sacrifice... and there's no room for selfishness.
So there... i'm coming home. I'm leaving all the bullshit outside the door. I'm bringing productivity and motivation with me. My world is about to change within a few hours.
Acceptance and understanding. The beginning of mentally healing. Everything else comes after.
i'm going home.
The end of an era, the dawn of a new horizon...
I've come to realize that i use that statement a lot. I've had certain phases of my life just come to a complete stop and the next chapter of my life quickly starts to unfold. That's how life really is, isn't it?
And so it starts. The reality that i neglected and the responsibility i irresponsibly ignored is calling out for me.
I'm 22 years old... and i'm about to leave my youth behind and sacrifice my early adult life. I realize that i've been whining over petty things. I've been selfish to the point where my priorities got crazy mixed up. I just wanted my life back again... but i know that no matter how hard i try, my reality will always be there. I can't ignore it any longer. I don't want to reach that point where it becomes something irreplaceable, something i can't get back to, absolutely cannot fix, and then i'll just end up regretting it. I've been selfish.
What could be more important in life than making sure that the well being of your seed is solidified? Isn't that what almost everyone strives for? At some point in everyone's life, all they really want is to know that they've built themselves up well enough to ensure the survival of their seed. That's what i'm supposed to do. That's what i'm about to embark on.
I'm coming home. And when i do... i'm staying there. It's where i belong. That's where my life is at. That's where my loyalty lies, above anything else. I have to focus on my family and moving on to bigger and better things.
I can't live like this... the way i've been dealing with my life for the past 6 years. My lifestyle has to completely change. No more halfies. I can't try to balance things out. Being a parent is about sacrifice... and there's no room for selfishness.
So there... i'm coming home. I'm leaving all the bullshit outside the door. I'm bringing productivity and motivation with me. My world is about to change within a few hours.
Acceptance and understanding. The beginning of mentally healing. Everything else comes after.
i'm going home.
3 Comments:
At Saturday, July 16, 2005 at 2:41:00 AM GMT+8,
Erica Paredes said…
im proud of you thea. it really is hard. and yes, we have to sacrifice---alot. but at the end of the day, looking at your baby (GOD SORRY THEYRE TODDLERS NOW AAAAAAAH!!!) is as close to heaven as we can get. it's a lot of money, a lot of time, a lot of energy but it's something that fills your sprirt as well. we may be trading off our "old lives", but the new ones that we're in is better than anything we ever had in the past. it's scary-yes.definitely. but i believe we're strong enough to do it. i, too sometimes wish i could spend more time with my friends or go out whenever i want, but, when u really think about it--friends come and go, even the ones we think will be around for ever...i mean it doesn't mean they'll stop caring for us, it just means that they have their own lives too, and we're just growing in a different direction--or maybe just earlier than we thought. don't worry about it too much, you'll do fine. just rememebr this: the real friends will stick around, even when your life and proirities change, even if they don't see you every day, even if you sometimes have to turn them down and ignore them.
also, there are ways to "balance" it out, i think ive gotten pretty good at it.Like if I wanna go shopping, i bring ananda with me, and we spend a girlie day at the mall, or if I wanna see my friends, I either invite them over or bring ananda with me. Basically i try and take her wherever I go. Even going out at night, although I hardly do, I try and spend the entrie day w/ her if I plan to go out at night, by then shes so tired and conked out she doesn't even know im out. Or you could go out but give yourself a reasonable curfew. I dunno, just a few things that have worked for me.
I pray for you all the time. Take Care of yourself ok? And let's have that coffee date finally when I get back.
PEACE!
At Tuesday, July 19, 2005 at 10:59:00 AM GMT+8,
HanAgiRL said…
hi! are you mike arvisu's daughter? If so, i know your dad. :) just passing by thru grish.
At Saturday, August 20, 2005 at 1:17:00 PM GMT+8,
Anonymous said…
werrd...where's home? Long time no see btw...didn't see you the last time I was in pinas (june - july) and then...yeah...someone told me what happened. Crazy shiznit. Hope you all better now.
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