the time is now...
Grow up.
2 words. So much power. So much meaning.
I've been procrastinating for the longest time. Dreading the future. Dwelling on the past.
I'm not gonna lie... i'm scared shitless of what's to come.
There are arrows pointing towards a specific direction... signs clearly telling me which way to go... the time is now. Can't you tell? Grow up.
It's not just procrastination that's getting to me. It's obvious i'm also in denial. I can't seem to leave behind the only life i know. I've been doing this for so long. It's all i know. Growing up means change. Change means starting over. And starting over means i leave everything behind... and everything i know becomes just another story in my past. That's it. Just another story.
The future. The uncertainty scares me. The trials to come. The obstacles to tackle. The drama to endure. It's a natural part of life. Everybody goes through it... but i feel as though i've been through enough. Can't it be smooth sailing even for just a little while. That's all i'm asking for. Just a little while. I feel like i'm overloading on so many things and i can't find an outlet to just let it all go.
It's different when you, yourself, know it's time to move on and do better things with your life. It's different when you decide all on your own that you're gonna make that change. It's another thing to have it said right in front of your face. Grow up. It comes out somewhat harsh. But take it. Because it it's true.
I am put in a situation right now where i need to make adjustments and change a huge part of my lifestyle... if not just part of it--- the whole damn thing. It goes back to that whole "change of pace". I've been living on the fast lane. Slowly deteriorating... heading towards a direction that would lead me to a dead end.
I'm still procrastinating. I'm scared. What lies behind door #2? What do i have in store for me next?
As much as i would love to kick it with my friends and do crazy shit, go buckwild, and take each day as it comes with no plan at all whatsoever... I can't. I have my responsibilities and i can't just let it all go. I can't risk it. Not at this point in my life.
Procrastinating... yeah. Getting ready... yeah. Am i ready? not yet. But i will be. In due time. But i know... the time is now.
2 words. So much power. So much meaning.
I've been procrastinating for the longest time. Dreading the future. Dwelling on the past.
I'm not gonna lie... i'm scared shitless of what's to come.
There are arrows pointing towards a specific direction... signs clearly telling me which way to go... the time is now. Can't you tell? Grow up.
It's not just procrastination that's getting to me. It's obvious i'm also in denial. I can't seem to leave behind the only life i know. I've been doing this for so long. It's all i know. Growing up means change. Change means starting over. And starting over means i leave everything behind... and everything i know becomes just another story in my past. That's it. Just another story.
The future. The uncertainty scares me. The trials to come. The obstacles to tackle. The drama to endure. It's a natural part of life. Everybody goes through it... but i feel as though i've been through enough. Can't it be smooth sailing even for just a little while. That's all i'm asking for. Just a little while. I feel like i'm overloading on so many things and i can't find an outlet to just let it all go.
It's different when you, yourself, know it's time to move on and do better things with your life. It's different when you decide all on your own that you're gonna make that change. It's another thing to have it said right in front of your face. Grow up. It comes out somewhat harsh. But take it. Because it it's true.
I am put in a situation right now where i need to make adjustments and change a huge part of my lifestyle... if not just part of it--- the whole damn thing. It goes back to that whole "change of pace". I've been living on the fast lane. Slowly deteriorating... heading towards a direction that would lead me to a dead end.
I'm still procrastinating. I'm scared. What lies behind door #2? What do i have in store for me next?
As much as i would love to kick it with my friends and do crazy shit, go buckwild, and take each day as it comes with no plan at all whatsoever... I can't. I have my responsibilities and i can't just let it all go. I can't risk it. Not at this point in my life.
Procrastinating... yeah. Getting ready... yeah. Am i ready? not yet. But i will be. In due time. But i know... the time is now.
1 Comments:
At Thursday, June 30, 2005 at 11:42:00 PM GMT+8,
Erica Paredes said…
it's easy to get carried away when your with single-childless friends. You feel like your old self and that nothing matters but having fun. I know coz I catch myself feeling that way sometimes. but maybe we all need a kick in the butt once in awhile to help us back on track (not that I think what happend to you is ok. it still shouldnt have happend) but at the very least, it's giving you the time out that you needed to think and again reconfigure your life. I needed london for the same reasons. I miss my duaghter terribly and I crave for her company every single day. we can still be friends to people, have fun and all that-but we're mothers now, and I no matter how we try to squeeze certain things in our lives, it just can't be part of ti anymore.
How are you doing? Are you in Manila? Take Crae ok? i hope your healing well...Aycs
Post a Comment
<< Home