miss-teaze-ism

groundless speculation

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

crazy predictable & mad routine

There was a time when all i ever did was go out. Sure, it was routine... i did it day after day (even on Sundays), every week, for about a whole year (maybe even 2)... but it was never predictable. Never.

I've had my share of crazy, buckwild, & dumbass moments... i've experienced the insanity of being nocturnal and hardly ever sober. But what the hell is being a teenager all about if you can't experience any of that (or anything remotely close to it)... right? =) i just happened to start a lot earlier than your average teenager.

Maybe that's why at the age of 21... i think i may have passed my peak. I just can't get myself to go completely nuts anymore. I know i'm just being held back, but there's nothing (that i can think of at the moment) i can really do to change that. I'm over that phase. I'm really so over it. I think i've just been doing it for too long...

I went into hybernation for almost a full year and a half. The whole time i was living under a rock, i was under the impression that i was missing out on so much. I thought life was going on without me and i was missing out on all the fun. Finally, i start coming out again... only to the realization that not a thing has changed. It's almost like life was put on hold while i was away only to continue when i came back out. I don't think i really missed a thing (aside from Bora 2004, which i'm still kind of bitter about).

Life in the city is becoming monotonous... i'm getting bored. Clubbing everywhere you go is the same $#!+. The people, the freakin' music, the vibe... when did it stop being fun?

Everytime i go out, it's all too predictable and it's nothing but frustrating routine. Every single time. I know, i'm ranting... i'm practically whining... so why not just stay home, you ask? Because i need time away from the house and going out at night seems to be the only way i get to kick it with my friends.


4 years ago... we had something to do everyday. I'm not kidding. It was a vicious cycle that made up a weekly routine. The interesting part? It just wasn't predictable. Every night brought something new. There was always something interesting, something different going on. Another thing was that every time i went out, i'd meet someone new with a story to tell. Now, where did all that go?

I'm sure the way it is now is somewhat interesting to some people. I don't doubt for a minute that there are still people out there who still actually look forward to going out and have a blast every single time they do so. Hey, if it's new and they're having fun... good for them. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I remember this one time, i ended up on a beach 12 hours away from Manila... in my clubbing clothes! =) We drove 12 hours across the Sierra Madre Mountain Range... from Porch (in Makati) to Baler (some beach faaaar away from here). The result of a dare. We left the city with nothing but the money in our pockets & the clothes on our back (but we did make one stop to someone's house to pick up a thing or two that we couldn't do without)at 6am. It was probably the most spontaneous thing i ever did my whole life. We even got stuck at some provincial town because the car broke down. I was sitting in the heat counting coins from a water container (someone's "i-just-quit-smoking-so-im-saving-my-change" type piggy bank) for a good 3 hours. We disappeared for 3 days... and we couldn't even tell anybody where we were at because the place where we went was so damn far we were out of range. So it was impossible to text or call anybody.

**I thought about it... and yeah, it was fun at the time... but for as long as you're living under your parents' roof, you tell them where you're gonna be and when you're expected to be back. Even though my parents didn't show it, i'm sure they were stricken with panic. I mean, foreal... i could've been kidnapped and killed for all they knew. I was M.I.A. for 3 whole days. Not cool.

So i'm considering going into hybernation again. Maybe i just need to give this whole clubbing thing a rest. Maybe eventually, i'll start to miss it again. It's not that i'm getting too old... i've just been doing this for too long. I just don't feel like it's for me anymore.

I noticed that clubbing nowadays isn't so much about having fun as it is about the "image". I say, "psh!".

crazy predictable & mad routine... clubbing is so overrated.

***so i tried to salvage whatever i could of what was erased from the so-called post i wrote yesterday. This was the best i could do. Out of frustration... i tried. But nothing beats an article written when you're in the zone... i just couldn't bring it back. *sigh*

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