f@#n$#!%+ cLowNs

Clowns are supposed to be funny. They're hired to do magic tricks at a kid's party, dance at a circus, and serve as entertainment at amusement parks. Kids are supposed to love them and people are supposed to find them to be quite amusing... but they're not.

Call me nutty, but clowns seriously freak me out. They're seriously scary. Even just thinking about it sends shivers up my spine.

I'm writing about this because a few days ago i saw this commercial on AXN... it's the new Nokia commercial (i think) and it involved a whole bunch of clowns. I knew i was terrified of clowns before, but it was only til i saw this commercial that it was confirmed that I have serious fear of clowns (there's got to be a name for it). They scare the living daylights outa me.

If somebody wanted to play a mean prank on me, the perfect one that would scare me shitless outa my pants... involves clowns. If someone tricked me into entering a room and locked the door behind me, and i found myself in a plain white room filled with dozens of clowns doing their thing or just staring at me... i would freak out and go insane. If somebody went into that room to check up on me no later than 5 minutes, i'd probably be found curled up in a corner, rocking back and forth, mumbling nonsense, just asking for everything to stop or "make it go away".

There's nothing amusing about them. If i heard "clown music" in the dark, it would scare me. The "clown laugh" would make me cry. And a clown popping up outa nowhere... i'd probably scream like there was no tomorrow and run like a lunatic (that's if i don't get a heart attack first).

BLAH! *arg* i hate clowns. My parents hired a clown for my little sister's party when she was like 10 or 11... i couldn't go because that clown was there and i didn't wanna be anywhere near it. I was at Enchanted Kingdom a few years back and this clown came up to me asking if i wanted to take a picture with him (Why would anyone?!), and i ran away. And when i was watching that commercial, there's this one bit where they run towards the camera and they appeared to be coming closer and fear rushed over me. Am i crazy?

I don't know. There just seems to be too much mystery behind them. I feel like there's evil lurking underneath all that fake, colorful hair, baggy clothes, and unbelievably thick makeup. It just really scares me...

But that's just me. I scare easy because i've got a seriously crazy, wild imagination. I'm a total wimp. Anything that has anything to do with ghostly, haunted, spirit, mystic, creepy, old, dark shit--- all that terrifies me. Total darkness, deafening silence, & being alone creeps me out. Whenever i'm left alone during a blackout, i freak. That's why i fuckin' hate it when a blackout happens and i'm in the shower--- with shampoo in my hair! Shadows scare me. My imagination is so wild i create shapes and a horror story starts playing in my head. Trees at night... staring at those leaves... *brrr* Dark corners, alleys, windows, and such... the list goes on and on.

I've tried to take control and get over my fears... but i just can't. This is why i can't watch horror flicks. The images stay in my head, and i get visuals at night. As stupid at this may seem, when i watched the Blair Witch Project & the Sixth Sense (all in the same day. what the fuck was i thinking?!), i couldn't sleep for like 3 weeks. I had to stay up at night, and sleep during the day. I got a serious case of insomnia because of that. I'm not even joking. The trailers of the horror flicks frighten me. I saw the trailer of Gothika... and the image of that girl at the end of the hall drove me nuts. I couldn't go to the bathroom at night for weeks because of that. It's not the story itself that frightens me... well, sometimes they do, but it's mostly the images that get stuck in my head (i've got Hollywood's expert make-up artists, and special effects people to thank for that). Which is why no matter how dull the story, if the make up, the acting (of the monster or ghost or whatever), and the image are convincing enough... it'll drive me up the walls.

I have enough images haunting me at night which is why i've retired from watching any kind of horror film. I don't care how stupid they are or how "not scary" it is... the answer is NO.

See, watching that simple, "harmless" Nokia commercial brought out the wimp in me. It got me all worked up and let those haunting images in my brain loose.

I can't help it... i wonder what it was that traumatized me as a child?