milestones

Every person has their own story. Each unique individual has gone through a certain something that they can certainly claim as "theirs". People meet other people all the time... new bonds are formed every single day... but people who form a milestone in your life--- those don't come around everyday.

Do you ever have a feeling that you were meant to meet the people in your life for a purpose? Do you believe in Destiny? That your whole life has been written out for you and you're only living this life as if you were playing out a part, following the script of a play? Maybe not entirely, right? but in a way, just kinda?

For me, the chapters in my life and the different phases that i've gone through are categorized by the people who were in my life at the time (well, most of the time, anyway). It sort of goes something like this:
"remember back in the day when 'so-and-so' happened and 'whoever' was there too?''
Is it just me... am i making any sense?

Sometimes it's hard to let the people in your life just go. It's hard to leave the past behind, move forward, look into the future, and it's definitely hard to let go of relationships, that for a moment in time, meant the whole world to you. But sometimes... that moment... those months/weeks/days/years/hours/minutes... maybe that's all you really get.

It would be nice to believe that fairy tales do come true... and your "friends forever"... do remain your friends forever. But the matter of the fact is... people change, everything changes. Sometimes, the best thing to do, or even the only thing to do is let go.

It'll be painful, it's gonna be hard, it'll be sad... but in time, it will heal. Things always gets better. Sometimes the hardest things that come your way in life happen to be the best for you.

"Don't fight life... life always wins."

Denial just makes things worse. What tends to happen is--- you build yourself up for an awful let down and things end up shittier than how it started. The faster you realize the truth, the earlier you face it... the easier it is, and the better.

Look, i'm no expert... but i've gone through enough pain, heartbreak, loss, and depression to know even 80% of what i'm talking about. I'm not doing this for anyone. I'm just trying to clear things up for myself. It's been an awkward week or so for me... i'm in a state of "i kinda don't know where i am and what i'm doing".

When you've been in a relationship for so long... things tend to change. You get used to routines, certain circumstances change you... and sometimes you just kinda lose yourself. 3 long years, i have come to realize, completely changed me. I don't know who i really am. I was spoiled rotten and became somewhat dependent. That wasn't who i used to be and that's not who i want to be. I feel as if i was trapped for so long in a certain environment with only so much... and then all of a sudden i'm let out into the world... and i don't know what to do.

So this is it. I'm starting from rock bottom. I needed this... not for anything in particular. Just for me.