problem child 4
I think i've had it with trying to be the supportive, giving, miss-goody-two-shoes of the family. I'm serious. I might not feel this way in a day or two, but i don't care--- i wanna be heard! This is gonna be one major venting session.
All i really want is a sign of a tad bit of appreciation. I don't need anyone to give me anything in return. I don't need to be given back anything. I don't need to be repaid (although i wouldn't mind it either). I don't need anyone to suck up to me and act nice because i've done something generous and what-not. A simple thank you will do and showing that what i've done has been greatly appreciated will be satisfying enough.
To be straight up honest, i'm talking about my little brother. God knows i love him and to an extent i understand why he is how he is... but i've had it! No matter how much i give to him, even if i get him anything he wants all the time, and i let everything he does slide, i still don't sense an ounce of gratitude. He doesnt' say thank you. He can't even hold open doors. He refuses to share (or when he does, which is extremely rare, he feels horrible about it and gets extremely upset). He's 11 years old, okay, i get that. But a 6 year old understands when it's appropriate to say thanks. All i'm asking for is a little consideration and a bit of appreciation. Otherwise, what the hell am i doing all this for? I will not be taken for granted. Why do i even do it? If all it does is encourage him to continue acting the way he is, then forget about it. I'd rather not. If it supports the idea that he can get what he want by simply asking for it and then act like a brat after and get away with it... hell no! He needs to learn manners, discipline, being considerate, and appreciative of what he has. It annoys me that he can get away with what he wants and is rewarded for being rude.
It used to be--- I want to do it, because making them happy makes me happy. It's still true... but when it turns them sour, it makes me unhappy. And when i feel like what i'm doing is not doing them any good, it makes me feel horrible. I feel like maybe he's taking advantage of me. Maybe all he's really after is getting what he wants and it all ends there. Does he even care that it takes a lot out of me and that it's not easy spending on everything he wants? I do have a little someone who has a lot of needs... i could save all my money for him and say "fuck eveyone else, i have my needs, i have someone else to support, i'm keeping all this to myself". I could do that if i wanted to... but i don't because i care. I wanna make everyone happy... it makes me feel good and it makes me really happy. But when i don't feel good about it anymore... then something's wrong and something has to be done. I'm sorry... but that's really how it is... and i feel miserable about how he's treating me. Downright miserable.
To make it clear, i don't think it's my parents' fault. If you know Gio, he just is how he is because he is. He's stubborn and proud like that, because he just is. It's hard to teach him things, and it's almost impossible to correct him. But in fairness, he's not all bad and he's not the capital brat of the world (although at times, i feel like he could be). He can be thoughtful and sweet. I feel like he's skitzo sometimes. In a split second he'll turn into the sweetest little angel, a Godsend from heaven to the devil himself straight from hell. I don't understand it.
Most of the time, i let him go. I let him be how he is because i know it's just his personality, that's the way he is, and there's no way you can change that. But seriously, i can only put up with so much... and i don't want him acting like a stuck up brat. It irritates me, i get so agitated, it upsets me, and what more, it truly breaks my heart. It's just disappointing. *ARgH*
Right now, i'm in non-talking terms with him. He refuses to be considerate and is too proud to admit it and doesn't wanna apologize. All i'm asking for is a little consideration and a tad bit of appreciation. When that gets through his head, maybe i'll consider to having everything go back to the way it used to be. But he's getting nothing from me. Not to be mean, but he needs to learn his lesson. I already bought his Xmas present (drats!), it was damn expensive and now he says it's not what he wants (mother******). Whatever, if he doesn't want it, i'll store it in a closet and i know Dylan will wanna play with it when he's old enough. So there.
Blah... i sound like a parent.
All i really want is a sign of a tad bit of appreciation. I don't need anyone to give me anything in return. I don't need to be given back anything. I don't need to be repaid (although i wouldn't mind it either). I don't need anyone to suck up to me and act nice because i've done something generous and what-not. A simple thank you will do and showing that what i've done has been greatly appreciated will be satisfying enough.
To be straight up honest, i'm talking about my little brother. God knows i love him and to an extent i understand why he is how he is... but i've had it! No matter how much i give to him, even if i get him anything he wants all the time, and i let everything he does slide, i still don't sense an ounce of gratitude. He doesnt' say thank you. He can't even hold open doors. He refuses to share (or when he does, which is extremely rare, he feels horrible about it and gets extremely upset). He's 11 years old, okay, i get that. But a 6 year old understands when it's appropriate to say thanks. All i'm asking for is a little consideration and a bit of appreciation. Otherwise, what the hell am i doing all this for? I will not be taken for granted. Why do i even do it? If all it does is encourage him to continue acting the way he is, then forget about it. I'd rather not. If it supports the idea that he can get what he want by simply asking for it and then act like a brat after and get away with it... hell no! He needs to learn manners, discipline, being considerate, and appreciative of what he has. It annoys me that he can get away with what he wants and is rewarded for being rude.
It used to be--- I want to do it, because making them happy makes me happy. It's still true... but when it turns them sour, it makes me unhappy. And when i feel like what i'm doing is not doing them any good, it makes me feel horrible. I feel like maybe he's taking advantage of me. Maybe all he's really after is getting what he wants and it all ends there. Does he even care that it takes a lot out of me and that it's not easy spending on everything he wants? I do have a little someone who has a lot of needs... i could save all my money for him and say "fuck eveyone else, i have my needs, i have someone else to support, i'm keeping all this to myself". I could do that if i wanted to... but i don't because i care. I wanna make everyone happy... it makes me feel good and it makes me really happy. But when i don't feel good about it anymore... then something's wrong and something has to be done. I'm sorry... but that's really how it is... and i feel miserable about how he's treating me. Downright miserable.
To make it clear, i don't think it's my parents' fault. If you know Gio, he just is how he is because he is. He's stubborn and proud like that, because he just is. It's hard to teach him things, and it's almost impossible to correct him. But in fairness, he's not all bad and he's not the capital brat of the world (although at times, i feel like he could be). He can be thoughtful and sweet. I feel like he's skitzo sometimes. In a split second he'll turn into the sweetest little angel, a Godsend from heaven to the devil himself straight from hell. I don't understand it.
Most of the time, i let him go. I let him be how he is because i know it's just his personality, that's the way he is, and there's no way you can change that. But seriously, i can only put up with so much... and i don't want him acting like a stuck up brat. It irritates me, i get so agitated, it upsets me, and what more, it truly breaks my heart. It's just disappointing. *ARgH*
Right now, i'm in non-talking terms with him. He refuses to be considerate and is too proud to admit it and doesn't wanna apologize. All i'm asking for is a little consideration and a tad bit of appreciation. When that gets through his head, maybe i'll consider to having everything go back to the way it used to be. But he's getting nothing from me. Not to be mean, but he needs to learn his lesson. I already bought his Xmas present (drats!), it was damn expensive and now he says it's not what he wants (mother******). Whatever, if he doesn't want it, i'll store it in a closet and i know Dylan will wanna play with it when he's old enough. So there.
Blah... i sound like a parent.
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