family ties
Dylan and i are staying over at my house with my family over the weekend... i've only been here one night and already i realize just how much i miss being at home. It's so refreshing. We may not be living a luxurious lifestyle... but being with my family makes me feel like i have everything i'll ever need.
I come from a very tight-knit family. We're all very close and very family oriented. I value the relationship we have and i absolutely love the way we are together. I want Dylan to grow up with something like it because i know just how important it is to me.
Living in QC is just something very different. I don't sense the feeling of togetherness. Aside from the noise our dog, Scratch, makes... the house is always very quiet, empty, and lonely. Dylan and i spend the hours of our day together in the confined perimeter of "our" room. We are accompanied by MTV, National Geographic, The Discovery Channel, sometimes Sesame Street, & The Disney Channel. Dylan watches me eat lunch by myself in the dining room. The familiar voices he hears are those of Oprah, Jay Leno, & Conan O'Brien.
This isn't what i want for him... i don't want him growing up thinking that that's what "family" is all about. I don't want him to get used to it being that way and have him think that it's okay. I want him to know and love the people around him and value the sense of being a family. I want him to feel the love i had as i was growing up. I want him to grow up with the noise and the chaos.
*sigh* i just want us to go home...
I come from a very tight-knit family. We're all very close and very family oriented. I value the relationship we have and i absolutely love the way we are together. I want Dylan to grow up with something like it because i know just how important it is to me.
Living in QC is just something very different. I don't sense the feeling of togetherness. Aside from the noise our dog, Scratch, makes... the house is always very quiet, empty, and lonely. Dylan and i spend the hours of our day together in the confined perimeter of "our" room. We are accompanied by MTV, National Geographic, The Discovery Channel, sometimes Sesame Street, & The Disney Channel. Dylan watches me eat lunch by myself in the dining room. The familiar voices he hears are those of Oprah, Jay Leno, & Conan O'Brien.
This isn't what i want for him... i don't want him growing up thinking that that's what "family" is all about. I don't want him to get used to it being that way and have him think that it's okay. I want him to know and love the people around him and value the sense of being a family. I want him to feel the love i had as i was growing up. I want him to grow up with the noise and the chaos.
*sigh* i just want us to go home...
1 Comments:
At Saturday, October 9, 2004 at 8:15:00 AM GMT+8,
Erica Paredes said…
do it if it's what you think it's best and will keep you happy...a happy mommy equals a happy baby....and you NEED that support...you need all that help. You've been thinking bat this even when I was stilll pregnant...do it already...it's probably whats best for dylan. I totally understand how you feel. The whole being confined thing, nothing to do, usually just alone...blah blah...all that, im feelin you....im a lot happier here, where my whhole family is, bec over there i hardly see or talk to anyone, it gets pretty lonely. good luck making your decsion...:)
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