miss-teaze-ism

groundless speculation

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

blast from the past

About a week ago, i signed up for My Space. Everybody's been asking me to do it because apparently it's a lot better than just plain old e-mail. So i did it as an attempt to keep in touch with friends & keep myself updated on what people have been doing lately. In the process of adding friends on my list and viewing other people's profiles, i ran into a grip of people i haven't seen in years. Some were old friends and others were the type i'd rather not remember. Nevertheless, the flood gates of memory lane burst open and stirred up my emotions pretty good.

It got me thinking of what my life was like years back... i began to remember what kind of a life i had, the people i hung out with, everything i used to do... and how i felt back in the day. It all started coming back... and i didn't quite know how to handle it. I missed it all, and at the same time, i was glad it was all over. I wasn't so sure if i wanted to click on certain people to "add as a friend" because i wasn't sure if i really wanted to know how they were doing and i also didn't know if i wanted these people back in my life. I mean, really... i let them slip out of my life for a reason and lost touch with them to begin with. Others, i was kinda glad i found... but there were more of the ones i didn't wanna get in touch.

Because of this, i realized that i'm the type of person who can hold a grudge. I'm the type of person who cannot forgive and forget. Am i evil because of that? Is that just wrong?

It's possible that these people have changed... it's also possible that they've grown up and perhaps have become better people. If you had trouble with someone when you were 15 years old, do you simply let that go because now you're "all grown up"? Will they look at you the same way you look at them?

It's so crazy... because ever since i started thinking about this... i've been hearing "old songs", i've been seeing so many things that remind me of the past, and i've even seen a few people! It's almost like life was trying to rub it into my face.

Lately, i've been thinking a lot about my past. Yeah, a lot of it was great, and i had a really good time. I'm a very semntimental person and i reminisce a lot. But i think it's really time for me to let that all go. I'm starting something new and i'm doing so with a very clean slate.

Ah... well, there you go. Just something i thought about and wanted to write down. It's amazing how getting in touch with a lot from my past affected me so much. *bLaH*










0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home